Healing With & Through Anal Play ~ Milica Jelenic
Healing on the Emotional: We can carry the emotions of trauma and shock in our bodies for years after the actual trauma occurred. Whether there was violence done by someone you trusted or someone you totally didn’t know, your body will likely still carry a level of fear and hesitancy around being vulnerable with anyone. One way to really notice if a body is relaxed is to observe
the outer anal sphincter. The outer sphincter can be relaxed voluntarily while the inner sphincter is involuntarily relaxed and may take more time. The outer sphincter will open slightly, you can often feel the relaxation even by having your hand on someone’s buttocks. The inner sphincter is more visible and if you check in a mirror (after you have a BM, not as you are about to have one) you can see that it pushes out slightly. If you have ever had an enema or a colonic you would have been asked to relax and give a little push out likely so that it creates more ease with inserting the devices for enemas and colonics. Nothing should ever enter the anus unless it is lubricated. The tissues of the anus do not lubricate like a mouth or a vagina do. If you have ever had someone penetrate your anus without any lubrication it may have been very unpleasant, possibly painful and may have caused tearing.
In order to allow for healing on the emotional level to take place, it is important to have a deep level of trust between the people involved. If you do not trust yourself or the person who wants to penetrate you, or that you want to penetrate anally, do not do it. Mistrust, even if it is unspoken can hold in the body and create more trauma.
Some questions to explore around emotional healing for the receiver:
When I think of having something penetrating my anus my first impressions are:
My thoughts on seeing someone penetrating or playing with an anus
My beliefs about anal play come from:
Who or what am I resisting letting go of?
If I relax and let someone in __________ will show up in my life.
Healing on the Physical:
Surgeries or physical violence inflicted in the rectum may have caused anything from slight to severely damaged tissues. Whether your surgery was for the removal of cancer, or if there was an accident and it required stitching, the physical trauma to the body can often leave tangible scars that we can either see or feel from the outside. The scar tissue can cause other damage as well. If, for example, a body had a prostate removed, the physical removal of the prostate can sometimes lead to erectile dysfunction. If there was a tear in the anus from giving birth and the perineum had an extreme rip all the way to the anus then there may be scar tissue or pain in the area as well. Using a water-based lube, you can massage these areas on your own, or you can find someone who does visceral massage, internal body, somatic sexual bodywork who is willing and trained in performing different techniques to release the scar tissue. When done by a professional this will require a conversation in advance, trust between practitioner and client, permission, information about what is being offered, use of lube, gloves and patience. This is not meant to be a sexual act, this is meant for healing on the physical level. Once the scar tissues are healed then the body will be able to receive more pleasure. Remember you can do this for yourself as well!
Questions to explore on the physical. Imagine you are having a conversation with your anus:
Would you like to be touched?
What kind of touch would you like? Temperature and force is included in the kind of touch.
Would you be willing to relax and let go?
Would you be willing to allow me in?
What can I offer and gift you that would be kind to you?
Healing on The Spiritual:
If you were to hide things about yourself and your life, where would you hide them? I would hide it somewhere I thought no one would look…the anus. It is funny how there are terms like “anal retentive” to describe when we hold onto things or create a lot of control.
From the Upanishads we know that Muladhara Chakra (base of the spinal cord is associated with excretion as well as the anus, perineum and sacrumit (part of the sacrum). The Hindu texts are not the only ones that show us that we have energies in our anus, but these are the most common ones we are aware of today. If you have any energetic blocks in the Muladhara Chakra you can start very simply by just breathing, and noticing the area.
For healing on the spiritual or energetic level, the play can be very calm and does not require any level of force. Having some general energy work training under your belt can be very helpful. You can also do this for yourself by just placing your finger on your anus, and not penetrating. Just deep breathing in and out and being aware of your finger connecting to your anus. This might bring up some emotions, just let them flow, and keep your finger there if you do cry, and leave it until the crying begins to subside.
This can be helpful in healing trust issues that you have with yourself, as well as trust issue in general. If you really begin to embrace this practice you might even find that this type of healing can be very revitalizing, relaxing and orgasmic.
Some questions on the spiritual:
Who or what would create a sense of deep connection?
Who or what would create a sense of deep trust?
How many limiting beliefs am I hiding in my anus?
What blocks have I put in my anus to stop me from being free, confident and joy-filled?
With the anus being something we tend to ignore until it’s too late, maybe now is the time to change all that. You don’t have to have serious issues going on in the anus to start the healing process. Remember to relax, breathe and be patient…and of course use lube, lube and more lube!
Contact Milica Jelenic https://www.milicajelenic.com/